I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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