I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
