Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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