is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
