His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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