Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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