He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
