do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
