I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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