Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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