Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
