If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize