is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
