I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
