I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
