He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
