Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
