so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
