is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
