what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
