Is it normal to miss your booty call?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
