You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
