Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
