i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize