I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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