i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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