ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
