That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Semen is not good for contacts.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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