can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
