Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
