that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize