i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
