There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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