There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize