Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
