ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
