Three words: puerto rican gang bang
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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