i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
