We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
