your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
