Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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