i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my shit smells like andre
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
