Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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