If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
