...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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