Umm I'm too high to move.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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