life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize