i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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