I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
