pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
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