You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
