ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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