No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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