My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
