I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
