Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
