Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Duck Duck Cougar?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
