We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
