I smell stomach acid.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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