I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just want to make out with him forever
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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