the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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