Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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