I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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