Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
