the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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