He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
