Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So many bounce houses so little time
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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