isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
