i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
