Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
